Pasta Caprese

This recipe comes direct from Chef Adam. I decided to leave it unchanged and have made only minor additions (in italics).

Ingredients

- 1 lb. Penne pasta

- 2 - 2.5 lbs plum tomatoes

- 3 TBSP EVOO

- 1-3 TBSP red wine vinegar (depending on how sour you like the tomatoes)

- Juice from 1 lemon or lime

- 8oz Mozzarella cheese

- 3T basil chopped (one of those packages with fresh basil at Publix will do) 

- Salt & pepper to taste

- 2-3 cloves garlic, finely chopped

- Chilled Vodka 

- Romaine lettuce (optional)

Steps

1. Wash your hands.  

2. Retrieve vodka from freezer and mix with whatever sour-mix, soft drink, or, depending on your bravery, other alcohol that is readily available and proceed to imbibe.  

3. The original recipe calls for “seeding” the tomatoes and this is the best method that I have found for doing so: Rinse and cut the ends off the tomatoes then cut them in half lengthwise.  Using your thumb, remove the seeds, you may need to make extra cuts in the tomatoes to get to the other compartments as halving them sometimes does not expose all the seeds.  (I used a melon baller and that worked really well.) Once finished, chop them up and place in a large plastic dish.  

4. Continue drinking vodka, you should be on glass #3.  Ignore the large gash you have inflicted upon yourself during the tomato cutting phase.  If asked about the gash, brush it off as the remnants of the tomato paste balsamic bald eagle skull wine reduction that you just whipped up in order to make what you now call the “Great Meal of Unending Happiness and Perpetual Tranquility” more enjoyable.  

5. Cut mozzarella cheese into bit size pieces, place in dish with tomatoes along with oil, vinegar, lemon juice, salt, & pepper (and garlic if used).  Let marinate at room temperature for 15 minutes - 2 hrs.  

6. Relax and watch “Rock of Love” remarking how stupid the human race is.  

7. Cook and drain pasta, mix with tomato mixture, adding basil and a dash more salt/pepper.  

9. Serve and enjoy, making sure to exclaim how amazing the food currently numbing your mind of all toxic thoughts is, thanking the person whom sent this recipe to you (i.e., Adam).  

10. Optional: Serve over romaine lettuce.